Am I becoming a webtrovert? Or am I just becoming comfortable with my own company?
After having my last two babies I have become more of a home bird. It’s not that I dislike face to face socialising as I’ve never been described as being an introvert. I will happily chat away on school runs, go on coffee dates and outings here and there with like-minded friends trying to tire out our little ones. I just don’t feel the need to fill every day with social engagements and come the night time I’m now happiest at home with my nearest and dearest. Added into this I have been breastfeeding Florence over the past year and I have never been able to use a breast pump without wanting to throw the darn thing out of the nearest window, so I still have my limits as to how long I can be away from her both physically and emotionally. There are also days where I question whether its necessary to take us all out on errands or days out and sometimes for my sanity it’s easier to stay around home with all 4 of them. I think having 11 years of car seats, prams, and naps to consider I have just got used to questioning the necessity of leaving the house. Yes we can get cabin fever so there is a balance to this as I’m not wanting to be a hermit just yet, as my kids do need new experiences and a sense of everyday life out and about. Then factored into this desire to be with my little family, is that I’m a Libran star sign, so I’m constantly indecisive weighing up what’s best and changing my mind often. This indecisiveness can drive me potty as well as others and is worse when I’m hormonal. I have often in the past agreed to social engagements that I then question and further doubt will set in, resulting in me wanting to cancel said engagement which then brings on stress about my decision as I’m really not one for cancelling or letting anyone down and often I end up pleasing others. I have recently learnt from a close friend that the best way to combat this is to just not feel obliged to commit straight away and use the ‘consult the diary or husband’ line and then go home and weigh the request up in my head and discuss with others and then commit a ‘yes or no’ when I have reached a more happy balance in my head. It’s safe to say I say ‘no’ a lot more (unlike my younger days), I’m now a close the curtain, pop my pjs on, light a candle and stay at home kind of girl, especially in the winter. I also struggle with having to juggle a lot as all us busy mums do. My work and home life need to be organised for the week so having too many engagements on can just send me into disorganised chaos and I’m then on catch up mode which isn’t ideal. So sometimes I have to be boring and not join in so our life can run in term time as it needs to for a busy household. Yes this a control thing and yes I struggle to let go, I’m a solo parent during the week due to husband’s employment and so it means I find it hard to let go of the control I have of my home organisation and kids. So if I’m absent I naturally worry that the house will fall apart which can happen, sorry Dougie. I never worry about the kids as he’s hands on and will entertain them to red coat standard but I still miss them after a few hours of peace, especially the littlest, more dependent ones. I have achieved so much in the last 9 months with starting my own blog, YT channel and social media accounts associated with this and I have really moved out of my comfort zones in ways I never thought possible in less than a year. So when an email landed in my inbox from Mumsnet Influencers inviting me to their event in London I was of course chuffed to receive it but then the procrastinating set in. How am I going to travel down and back in one day, feed Florence, justify the cost, missing out on family time, and overdo having too many busy weekends away recently. Its safe to say I talked myself out of it and back into it numerous times. I quietly sat on it and then when finally discussed it with a very supportive Dougie he encouraged me to just book the train fare and worry later! I suppose confidence is to play in all of this as I have already mentioned I’m not shy but the more I have had children the less confident I have become especially on my own. Do of course I worry that I wouldn’t know what to say in this unknown social situation and that my mumlife isn’t quite up to scratch in a business situation. I have to add that the people I met with were all mostly parents all with the same chat as me with the added bonus of having even more in common with this weird blog/vlog life! It was at the event that I came across the term ‘webtrovert’ which in conversation several bloggers agreed this was very apt for themselves. I thought about this and it got me thinking am I a webtrovert? I have connected with several like minded people on Instagram this year and a few have discussed that they really connect with having friends on social media that don’t come with commitments that their older/ face to face friends come with. And that they feel able to discuss/share image of their lives that they wouldn’t necessarily open up to to off social media. I don’t want to use the term real life as to me that makes my social media life and friends seem not “real life’. I then got thinking on the train home that I should be concerned that I’m a webtrovert, should I be pushing myself out into more face to face communication rather than my social life be in my Instagram inbox? I was certainly intrigued and amused that I had discovered the term ‘webtrovert’ and so looked it up and this seems to be the common definition ‘Someone who is a shy introvert in real life, but turns into a full-on extrovertedparty animal on Internet forums and social sites.’ I’m neither of these things, so fall somewhere into the middle of this definition but for now I do quite like this word and can identify with these so called webtroverts. As for the Mumsnet event I anxiously left the house very early that day and very much enjoyed a coffee and a magazine in peace and sat social media surfing without any interruptions. Once at the event I chatted straight away with numerous lovely bloggers and vloggers. The conversation flowed about our children, life, the event itself and our own businesses. As for leaving the home for 18 hours it nearly survived (and the children were all happy and well bonded with a tired Daddy). So I ticked off another new thing this year thanks to Mumsnet and I tackled a social situation with enjoyment. I wouldn’t want to attend too many events but Im certainly more confident and able to put myself out there again. So thank you Mumsnet for helping me overcome this social hurdle. I also gained an awful lot of knowledge on the day and so my next post will be sharing these tips with others.