A family friend is expecting twin boys and so it got me thinking about all the things I have learnt, about being a mum of boys for the last 12 years. Some of which has grossed me out, surprised me, and a few things I could have predicted.
Let’s get the icky stuff over with first! They love to fart, talk about poo and play with their bits from a very early stage. All whilst laughing at your horrified face! Then there is the fart that they do, whilst sat on you! They find that hilarious…
I also wish that someone would have warned me that their little fella (you know what I’m referring to) stands up to attention just like a big fella’s does. No one warned me about that, and so that was a shock nappy change after nap time! You do, I assure you, just learn to blank it out from memory and pretend you didn’t notice!
Feed and Walk them- My boys are like springer spaniels and so need 3 hearty meals a day plus various snackages along the way. They need several exercise times a day and especially after dinner just before bath/bedtime as they tend to turn into demented wolves at this stage, even the 12 year old, in fact he’s worse! Obviously the fact that they have had to concentrate on two things, eating and answering Mummy and Daddy’s questions results in the need to run and whoop and pull out all the best karate moves! I love it when the clocks spring forward and I can turf them out into the garden and let the neighbours hear them howl and shriek!
Mud – Say goodbye to clean cream-coloured living! Although I thought boys were dirty garden monkeys, they’re not a patch on Daisy!
They’re Emotional – I never realised just how sensitive little boys are, and in fact big boys! They’re very loving towards me, which is just the best thing ever. They seek out comfort and reassurance that they’re doing ok, a lot! Teddy is often found mewing at my ankles like my little lost cat. I have to say that I’m getting better at having patience for this, as I see Fin needs me less than he used to.
A splinter can be the end of the world- Yes this one could have been predicted but not in such a dramatic way. Man flu starts from birth. The boys are always more unwell than anyone else, scream louder than us girls when they hurt themselves, and at various points in their little lives have worried that a splinter or other injury/ailment could be fatal! I did warn you about their emotions already!
Boy looking- This is a term affectionally albeit frustratingly used in our house! As they find themselves looking for an object that is lost forever and will never be found, until a second later when I pick it up from next to their foot! However if directions are clear and concise and items easily locatable my best and fastest errand runner is Fin. So jobs such as ‘run and bring in the dustbin’ is always achievable and a much needed helping hand.
Noise- Oh my, I don’t think I will ever get used to such loud noises that they produce throughout the day. They love to click, whistle, whoop, shriek, cry, groan and usually all of those put together whilst wrestling each other. I think you’ve got the picture, they’re so darn noisy, more so than both my girls put together! Although if I walk into the living room and drop a toy on the floor by accident or dare to speak when their favourite cartoon is on, I will be told off for being noisy!
They like to be waited on- My boys love nothing more than to have Mummy run around after them, they’re programmed at a young age to deceive us Mummies into thinking we need to pander to them for as long as possible. I now have a big boy who needs a lot of shaping/coercing into realising he now needs to be more independent. Just remember to always think in the back of your mind, you don’t want your future daughter-in-law in years to come to be picking his pants off the floor!
One for the Dads – Yes its’s perfectly normal that you can’t see your son sleeping at night for the 30 soft toys they have stuffed around their little body, or in our case gangly long 12 year old’s body! They will ask to wear Mummy’s nail varnish when she’s painting her nails, push a dolls pram just like Daddy pushes the babies pram. And come down dressed in his sisters dressing up outfits complete with clip clop shoes. It’s normal!
Wing it! Just like everything else in parenthood, we’re all winging it, as no chid is the same! So when it comes to boys you will find that you wing it all the time with conversations about various topics such as orcs, stormtroopers and wookiees. I haven’t ever sat through a complete StarWars movie (yes I get told off by the boys for this!), yet I wing it all the time with various conversations on lightsabers, battles and weapons.
In short your life will never be the same again as its enriched with liveliness, affection, sound, laughter and there quite simply is never a dull minute! I would love to hear your funny stories and experiences of the joys of boys!
Tales from Mamaville